15 minutes of consciousness

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

10:18am

ADHD was a title given to me at a young age.

I guess its rather accurate given the nature of my attention span being shorter than a goldfish with Alzheimer's.

I should clean my room at some point.

I'm supposed to be working, I don't feel like it right now. Or rather, i've tried for the past hour but my mind isn't in agreeance.

i wonder what would happen if I just wrote out my thoughts as they came?

i'm supposed to proofread though, make it pristine for a reader right, get full marks. this made school hard. i remember school, good times.

I'm unfortunately out of pure protein bars, the box has 3 flavors but i managed to consume all of the chewy chocolate chip and now im left with the pure chocolate and peanut butter bars which i don't like as much. this is what i get for enjoying my favorite flavor first

i wonder what other aspects of life have this property: consuming what you like first, and then just being left with something you don't like.

i should plugin the new piano i got, its laid out across my office desk in my room. there's 3 pianos actually, one is a foldable keyboard, the other is a chicklet key (light keys).

this song im listening to is pretty good, wonder if i could play it on piano. sure i could.

i could start like, a tiktok or something, gain followers, compete on the latest platform. tiktok will die soon though. question is which platform is coming next? could i build it? what would it look like? probably something in VR. hand grasping is getting pretty good in VR lately.

10:24am

my shoes are everywhere... i should put those away.

there is a lot of stuff "I should do" but alas that won't get done for at least a few more days because these chores require multiple steps and multiple steps means sustained focus and that's rather tedious at the best of times.

oh i actually have 4 keyboards. my computer keyboard!

oh and my 2 laptops. holy shit thats 3 piano + 3 computer keyboards. 6 keyboards in my 7.2x7.8m room. what a time to be alive.

i should get back to work...

its morning time, i'm supposed to be focusing. putting in my hours. feeding the capitalistic machine and in my own small way increasing the united states GDP. they call me an alien though, not sure i like that.

thankfully I'm Canadian, at least i can go get medical care again over christmas. manitoba is cold, that'll be fun to visit. seriously, its kinda nice!

did the Olympics happen this year? i would have known i suppose, but like, winter olympics is separate right? so summer Olympics was definitely canceled due to covid but winter im not sure.

i should get back to work...

10:28am

yeah this isn't happening. the luge is a crazy sport. can't imagine hauling myself down a path of ice, i could fly off the edges. always feared this as a kid on waterslides, like what if i just catapult myself across the pool. yikes! really though im on a planet that is moving way faster than i do on a slide, as it orbits the sun.

i can't eat yet until 11am.

feeling hungry.

told myself though, have discipline! if i eat one protein bar i'll end up eating 2, and then 2 turns into binge eating like 20 things and chugging maple syrup and then i'll feel sick and fall asleep on the floor again.

why can't i manage substances? like, why does everything i do get taken too far?

no point beating myself up over it...

my Huawei phone needs an upgrade

lot of stickers on my laptop though

i should move this stuff away so i can focus better...

still not getting any work done...

exhausting.

10:30am

wonder what would happen if my room has more than 4 corners in it. most rooms are square/rectangular or whatever the prism is called. if i didn't have my laptop this would be rather odd. id just be staring at the corner of my room.

humans didn't grow up to stand in the corner of their room

why does computing mean im standing in the corner of my room?

could like, i do computer stuff while jogging, or walking around the block, or working out in the gym? why does coding and consuming the internet mean being in a fixed location.

i think in 50 years we'll look back and this situation will seem ridiculous. either i'll be a full computer myself, or wearable tech will expand to the point where stationary computing seems just as silly as having a mainframe full of vacuum tubes the size of a blockbusters.

oh r.i.p blockbusters.

10:32am

i think this has been an interesting way to spend 15 minutes.

i should do this more. I should also work more, but i always tell myself that.

wonder what sparked this thought.

maybe i should post this on my blog, that'd be funny

i think ill post this

still hungry.

10:33am

i should get back to work.