The ideas I share are from me, but are not me

I worry about publishing content because I don't want it to expand a sphere of identity

e.g., "Kyle I remember you saying X in your blog but now you're saying Y? wtf?”

I want freedom to change my beliefs and models of the world to reach goals I have

It stresses me that I likely can't maintain a blog that captures such beliefs + remains updated

My beliefs change so fast the majority will be deprecated in months

So this resulted in having 100s of blogposts I've written to myself but never published

Because I don't want people to assume those old ideas define me

Now that this list of unpublished work is getting so long, its forced me to think about it

Is my basis of "not publishing" correct?

Sure, a blog is one way to share ideas and beliefs and models I have

But so is talking to people

Every time I say something to someone they store a model of who I am in their mind

And that probably becomes outdated

e.g., Anyone who knew me in highschool wouldn't recognize me now based on my beliefs

So based on my rationale for not publishing on a blog, I should also not talk to people

Or share any ideas I have, in any way

In fact, interacting with the world in any way projects a version of myself for others to interpret

and as my beliefs change over time

the sense of self I carry now won't align with these artifacts of a Kyle that once was

But... this leads to the question: why do my ideas define me? Why should they?

I guess I just choose to define myself by my ideas

This seems a bit stupid. It causes me stress, without a clear benefit

I'd say things that have cost with no benefit are stupid

so I'm deciding my ideas don't define me, as of now


But, that doesn't prevent others from defining me by my ideas

Others can think of me however they want, no matter how well it approximates my sense of self

So this leads back to the initial dilemma

only way to truly prevent myself from leaving artifacts in the world that become stale

is to not exist

to die

to sleep

to sleep perchance to dream

but that's a bit extreme

so here's a blogpost instead